FUCK.
So many stressful things come to bite my ass when I start attempting to live my life. My ex-roommate screwed me in so many ways, so I have to hope she was just too stupid to realize the effect she made on my life. Long story.
Wachovia has found new ways of scheming me out of my money. God forbid if you're a person with less than a grand in your account at all times.
These are the kinds of things that make my boyfriend say,
"Wow, shitty things just seem to happen to you." It's not all that bad, though.
My appetite has decreased but not to the point of severity, I had a good session with my psychologist today, I still made an 'A' in my first summer course, I haven't missed my classes, my boyfriend and I are still going strong, and I have a few people who care enough about me to take time out of their day to help me in some way.
Yet... I still feel guilty.
Remorse is still lingering over me, pushing down my neck because of what my roommate did to me (or what she may have not realized she accomplished). Guilt has usually been my motivation, yet now it seems to be channelled through more respectable activities. The guilt remains, however, so my accomplishments don't satisfy me in the same way that I feel it should for "normal" people. I get nervous when I do something right, so nervous that I lose the concentration I need to continue. I beat myself up for feeling elated about such an insignificant thing, then beat myself up for feeling so sorry for myself. It never fucking ends.
Time to work on my paper.
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